Lost your Soul in the line of fire! Found him on the settee with a cup of tea, some chocolate and a suitcase!

Photo by Craig Adderley on Pexels.com

So you know what it’s like … you’re pootling along feeling in control, organised, relaxed and you look ahead in the diary and …. Next week is CRAZY!

WEDNESDAY Away with work for the first time in 6 months – all that pandemic uncertainty, how will the hotel work? Driving a long way 😕

THURSDAY Back home, hubby wants me to go camping this weekend, I’m sure it’ll be great when I get there but I’m tired and it’s more to organise, Will the dog be ok? Will the van breakdown it’s dripping oil?

FRIDAY Camping

MONDAY Daughters 1st day at college, I need to take and fetch her and she’s saying she won’t eat lunch because people will look at her. Work and anxiety dealing with a rude woman. 🤯. It’s the dogs birthday – feel guilty because I’ve not got him a pressie, I should have done.  Evening 2 hour course, this is for me, my time, but I’m going to struggle not to fall asleep.

TUESDAY Sons 1st job interview, he’s terrified, clashes with an important work meeting so I take him to the interview listening to the meeting on my phone.  I’m neither supporting him nor concentrating on the meeting 🥺. Oh and the in-laws are coming for tea, clashes with a work Zoom meeting – after –  no ones ordered the food from the chippy 😶

WEDNESDAY The rude woman at work is still contacting me……

STOP NOW!

What am I doing? Is this only me that’s living this crazy life? Is this it? How do I get off this crazy ride that’s runnng away with me.

I reached out and told someone how I was feeling, and had a lot of great support.  I knew I had friends and family that cared for me, but I felt guilty for moaning too much.  I have a good life, but this relentless, constant, being all things to everyone….I lost my soul, buried under a pile of life.  Soul come back later I haven’t got time.  Frazzled, headache, anxious, feel sick, overly sensitive and out of control. So what to do.

I stopped, put the kettle on and had a chat with my soul who was waiting for me on the settee!  He said …

SOUL:   What was all this for?
ME:      Well the kids know I’m there for them and it was great being there for their special 1sts.
Camping was lovely in a field, nothing to do and quality time with the hubby and dog.
I kept work ticking over even though the rude woman is still like a sack of coal pinning me down – but I’ve noted that and I’ll deal with it soon
The dog doesn’t know it’s his birthday- let that guilt go!
I learnt really useful things on the course that will help with my goals.

I couldn’t change the timing of much if this, that was out of my control and was causing much of my stress with one thing falling so soon after another.  But I could have left room for my own best friend, my soul, to shine though and help me instead of running headlong into everything and leaving him behind.

SOUL:   Stop, breathe, have some chocolate.  Regroup – let the guilt go, let the perfection go, let the self doubt go – you are doing amazing, you’re trying your best and that’s good enough.

Now then what’s exactly making you feel overwhelmed? – write a list.  Putting it down on paper helps you to rise above it all a get a more realistic view from above.  We can stand side by side and take a look together, you’re taking the power back, you’re in control again.

What can you do right now to get some of this fixed.  What one thing can you do right now to make you feel better?  What can you cross of the list that’s not important or out of your control?

Ok so we’ve cleared some of the quick wins, now are you taking care of yourself.  What are you eating tonight? Make a healthy meal a priority.  Call a friend and make sure you smile, when was the last time you smiled instead of frowned?

Now back to the list – what’s still on there that is causing you pain.  Is there anything you’re shoving in a corner and not dealing with because you feel stuck.  When you feel strong you’ve tried to change things but you keep falling back to the same situation.  So this is still sitting at the bottom of the suitcase of life, and the the case gets filled up with everyday life items until it overflows.  You clear the life items at the top of the case but this is still there keeping your case half full, taking space so you can’t fill it with the things that you want.  Who can help you uncover what’s holding you back in the bottom of the case?  Who can ask you those questions you won’t ask yourself that take you out of your comfort zone, so that you can empty the case?  Dealing with these items is an act of courage and bravery and it’s hard to do, to check out what’s hiding in the bottom of the case, but it’s also ok to ask for help.  Give yourself permission to clear the case!

Big hugs everyone ❤️

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