Imperfection In Perfect Practice and a Happy New Year!

To Have or Not to Have The Biscuit!

Photo by Marta Dzedyshko on

I need to lose weight.

I guess I’m not alone.  Its January – Shed the excess time.

So, it’s a goal, a resolution of mine, again, this year.  Yes again.  It’s been one every year for longer than I can remember!  Same for you?  Only once can I remember following through and really managing to drop a decent number of pounds before I – erm – well eventually put it all back on!

The trouble is I always need to get obsessive to lose.  And that’s ok to start because its new and exciting working on a new goal isn’t it?!  I get to be creative and try new recipes, I log, I track, I weigh every day.  I lose a good few pounds the first week, and maybe a few more the next.

But then biscuit gate!  There comes a day when I fail.  It normally goes like this.  I’m tired, hungry, in a rush and I need to eat something.  The healthy breakfast with all its necessary prep has lost my enthusiasm so I’m pretty ravenous.  I look in the cupboard and there it sits.  The biscuit.  All innocent.  Shining with a halo made of guilt right there.  But I’m in a hurry so I reach for it, eat it without really registering any taste because my mind is full of stuff I need to do.  Then I get in the car.

While I’m driving, I have time to register what’s just happened.  I’m a failure.  I’ve ruined it.  I’ve been so good, why did I do that?  My inner voice Mabel starts.  “Well you knew you would eat it”, “You’ll never be slim you’re over 50 now you’re bound to be heavier”, “You just don’t have any will power”, “You’re useless”, “You never stick to anything”

WHAT A LOAD OF OLD TOSH! Mabel get back in your cupboard!  So I had a biscuit.  I may have lost that small battle but not the war!

But you see it’s the need to be perfect that drives this.  There is no such thing as perfect.  As soon as you reach it there’s more to do to get there.  It keeps moving with the flow of life and if you let yourself focus on it it’s exhausting and its futile.  You (and me!) we will always feel ‘never good enough’ if we let it control our journey.

So then what happens?  There she is again, good old Mabel!  “I don’t know why you even bother”.  So I don’t.  I give up.  This feels bad, I’ve lost my confidence, my motivation and I start making excuses.  “I’ve not been well”, “It’s too cold to diet”.  And Mabel is sitting smirking in the corner.  She’s happy because she’s won. 

You see your brain will do what it can.  Everything it can, to stop you making a change.  Because change is uncertain and you brains not sure it can keep you safe when It’s in an uncertain situation because its unfamiliar.  So, it’ll use every underhanded tactic to keep you where its familiar and comfortable.  So those feelings of anxiety and yes, good old Mabel, are your brains attempts to keep you in the same place, but safe!

I want to lose weight so I can be more active, wear nice clothes, be more confident and feel more in control.  But to Mabel that’s all really scary.  It could lead to a whole load of even more scary new experiences and that’s a whole lot of uncertainty.  So she’s thinking if she can stop me eating the biscuit it’ll sabotage all my efforts to improve myself.  She thinks she’s helping.

Well sorry Mabel, not this time.  Thank you for your help but I’ve got this this time.  The reality is one biscuit does not mean I’ve failed.  Its not ruined.  I ate the biscuit because I was hungry that is all.  I DO NOT need to be perfect EVER.  I am good enough ALWAYS!

Right, so now I’m going to power up with action!  I recognise my self doubt – but instead of listening to Mabel,  l I take the biscuit.  Smile at it (and her!) and feel the control deep inside.  I eat the biscuit but mindfully.  I really taste it and enjoy it.  There is nothing wrong with eating the biscuit.  Then I feel my power, take action and close the packet, put it back in the cupboard and walk away.  If I continue to take imperfect action like this my successes will stack up, I’ll see great results, my confidence will increase and so will my belief in myself.

Now I didn’t even lose the battle. I won!  I took back control like the warrior I am, smiled and walked forward to win that war!!

Happy New Year everyone!

#imperfectaction #timetochange #newyearnewme #thiswomanwill #warriorwoman #lifecoachforwomen #2021ismyyear #inspireme

2021 action best life coaching Courage decisions Goal setting mindset mood new year reactions time to shine

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